Potentially Permanently Perplexed?

I'm confused, do people who do wrong or enough of it not deserve happiness? I have done my share of wrong and I've done my dirt but do I not deserve the best of things like everyone else. Let directly relate this question to relationships or lack thereof in my life. I have been a player, able to admit my mistake, correct it and move on. I humbly admit that. I'm not proud of it but I am proud to say that i have whole heatedly changed. Since that change which has been well over a year now I've tried my fair share of relationships, serious and committed relationships only to meet failure. Now whether or not these failed relationships were by my doing or not is not my point, my point is this some sort of shi**y Cupid Karma? A players penance? A debt to be paid for the subtle or deep dents that I've left in my past lover's hearts? It just seems like it an on going trend. Without a shadow of a doubt I let go of one person who I loved more with my mind, greatly with my body and much more with my heart. I let her go because I want to see her happy no matter what, and sacrificing my presence was a necessary pain. Now the fact that we're over is something Ive dealt with but I'm just trying to understand if its something that wasn't meant to be or a debt to be paid to the society of hearts and emotions i trampled selfishly. I've prayed for forgiveness, Ive asked for forgiveness and Ive moved on and wished them nothing but the best. But what about me? Its not a selfish question but a reasonable one at best. I am patient, if this is all some grand learning experience so I can be as perfected as much as any ultimately imperfect person can be, then so be it. But if this is the price to pay for all my admitted wrong doings then I shout "NAY!". The price is to high my fellow Internet fiends. The punishment does not match the crime. I know some may think that if you hurt someone than you should be damned by the god Cupid for all eternity but ultimately no one deserves that, and I'm not saying i deserve either way, I'm just curious and wondering. As of right now I wouldn't say I'm guarded but I would say that I'm cautious and aware. I don't fully trust any female in my life right now and with good and KNOWN reason whether they think so or not. I PEEP GAME!! Game recognizes game and I'm SO glad I'm familiar. The energized and fantastic sounds of the possibilities between one another were great in beginning and now seem to be fading in the middle, so are we headed to an inevitable end... most likely. And if so, was it really inevitable, or am I being taxed by a vengeful tyrant of lover's hate? Time will tell, even though I see no mouth on the watches face...