~Consistency~

Consistency

Is difference see

Its all about what it is to me

I find it to be

Unbelievably

Something that ill never see

Theres en emptiness

An empty mess

I caused it myself

Yet there’s another to stress

I want the best

I get the best

And then they end up like all the rest

This emptiness

This sweater vest

It’s a decent shirt that’s missing the rest

Its out of style

Been that way for awhile

Yet it’s always the source of that jaded smile

I wanted what I wanted

I want them to be flaunted

But my past is the demon; my present consistently haunted

What matters, matters

What shatters scatters

I hear the pieces, pitter and patter

There’s a small collection

The past affections

The old connections

Any permanent? Good question

Unresolved

Puzzles evolve

Mountains on hills roll off

Yet the burdens never crawl off

They’re the consistency

The end of the mist that we never see

The never forgiving me

Blinding me

One day the consistency will stop finding me

Where are We Headed? Where are We Now? Where Will We Be?

In the midst of my thoughts I'm thinking: who am i writing for?
am I writing for a future or a certain past
but im past that 
I'm in the midst of something that will last
I've gassed that,
that idea that wanted something fast and it has lasted just as long as it could
or it possibly as long as it would
its never been about me its been about you, 
the two

the creation that one can do, bouncing the idea of another, 
that will reflect as reflections do
but what will this reflection be a certain kind of make?
will it be a better part of me in the daybreak
or will love be struck so heavily that the ground itself will quake
these questions i can take
I can shake and relate
because if i couldn't take the break in the usual take of my soul upon any given day it will make me cease to lay stake upon my heart
my heart
that thing that is figurative yet real and you have taken a great deal aprart
the art
of makin' love through words
the idea is absurd but its happened so often that my heart might be mentioned for a 3rd
time
and its not easy to rhyme when forcing it, but this memory and mention is coursing through my veins its appropriate
everything i do is now in your favor
to savor the flavor of what i have yet to taste would be to waste the digestion of such a beauty that i have yet to take into my spirit that i would say you're long overdue: LATE
but you're right on-time
its the thing that exudes from my mind, the words i cannot find, I've fought through fields but on the front line was you
and you waited for me, debated for me and been jaded for me, you're elated for me, how could i escape such a feeling that was slated just for... me
but to make this all about me would be selfish 
to think that would be hellish
to even speak it i would embellish
the words I've already felt its
about you
and what i can do for you
what i need to prove to you
can you feel the words I've written to you...
yet?
and at the end ill still write for you
ill still fight for you,
that front line's fight is bullshit despite my heart beating and leaking for you in the heat for you im weak for you can you hear my feet running towards you...
yet?
the divinity of our connection is so right that by human eyes it can only be interpreted as sin
although you and i feel it within, and its repeated 3 times for a charm. but no, that's not luck! Amen.
if i was Danny Ocean I'd steal give it back, and it once again
It can't be stronger in sin
than can being righteous
because i don't just fight for us 
or for a trophy 
because right here
RIGHT.
HERE.
...is where YOU are supposed to,
be.....
its not equal if its three
there's always been you an me
there's always been a divinity
an entity to be created without boundary
we've been out of earshot but the sound is seen
over field meadows and crops
its almost sound like a fictional fairytale but its not
its the essence of truth and it plotson you and I so greatly that IT, 
STOPS.
when you and I make, WE....

and so it begins in the end.

What If?

As I sit here and ponder the ever changing, raging, and staging plan that is my life, I wonder, “When will it all make sense?” When do all of the trips, falls and makeups bring us to that dramatic realization? Does said realization have to be something we reach upon the end of this journey we call life? I seem to always find myself falling. I see myself falling off this grand precipice until I am plunged into a sea of sublime sorrow.  Why do I even approach this precipice? Why do I find myself on a daily basis walking into a “what if” scenario anticipating control? Are we destined to fall?

Destined… A word that in itself says that a path is already written, written before one may even know the meaning of the word. So in fact, we aren’t changing anything that we think can be changed. We’re doing what we always do, awakening for another day under the belief that we create our own destiny yet everything that’s happening and we believe we are making happen is what we are supposed to do. We wake to walk towards that precipice. We awaken to fall. There is no true change if we are always committing the same act. By definition, the act of doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is insanity. So are we all insane expecting to wake up to a new day of our creation? Have we never known the true perception of reality?

We go into the world trying to make sense and make a way in each and every ever changing day. But perhaps we aren’t making anything. Perhaps we are just unearthing our next steps that are laid under the sands of time. These sands whisk away in every hour and in every “choice” we make. This “choice”, whether right or wrong, is always a choice to be made in the right path of our destiny. You can’t stray from destiny. That very thought has been destined. Think about it: What if you could stray from your destiny? If you could, would you really want to? Would you want to turn from you path that was chosen by a higher power or you’re the equation you’ve been a part of since birth? Your rite; that can be the only thing sculpted into this world or into your network of friends and family. If you could change your rite and what it means to the world for the positive and negative, would you? Do you think you have the ultimate wisdom enough to do so? Would you risk disturbing the lake if at the base of its mass you found a sleeping monster or a subterranean angel in deep slumber? Your destiny is at peace as long as it is not tampered with, as are all things left alone. To tamper with destiny is almost like tampering with something that was never yours as it’s all a part of a scheme of grandeur. A sequence of actions that beget other thoughts/feelings/actions and people… Birth.... What if life did not occur or exist without the course laid by other. What happens when things do not go according to plan? Is there some kind of organization like ‘The Adjustment Bureau’ that swoops in to clean up messes and lay the crooked lines straight? Inconceivable, but yet, it is not impossible. Plausible as farfetched as it may seem.

Your path has been chosen whether you like it or not. There are those who don’t like the idea that their destiny is not in their own hands. But you can never hold, grasp or possess something that can never be seen, such as the soul. Or, can you?

Success' Love

I immerse myself in a romance w/success.

It knows no bounds in its intimacy.

I'm only limited by my own acts.

The lie of wanting anything escapes me.

We have a difficult relationship.

A love hate of sorts.

The roses I throw at success are self-serving indeed.

Making my advances feel amazing.

Our romance allows me to feel alive.

I exude my love for success daily.

It's within my smile, my walk, and my tone of voice.

It bleeds from my veins when I'm caught climbing over the barbed wire fences of struggle between us.

My life's purpose has told a story of nothing else.

The inevitability of our legendary affair.

Oh the times we've shared.

Success, mmm.

She is my trophy wife.

But alas, at the end of our rocky road, am I truly fulfilled...?