Holding On

~This was written in December 2006 but continues to be relevant, enjoy....~

My thoughts are flying spears to my ears

I try to dodge them in my mind but they’re all I hear

I need you in my heart but I baby I also need you here

I keep thinking about you, not wanting to

I’ve heard all I needed but not what I wanted too

You told me all I should know the first time, but this is time two

Needing you is not something I crave, something I’m stuck doing

My logic is the semi pushing against the brick wall of my heart and it’s not moving

You must think this is what I want in life, to keep pursuing

You’re pictures don’t fade that doesn’t make it better

You’re the fog that hasn’t lifted, the shadow in the desert

You’re the used car you can’t get rid of, although it’s been weathered

Baby, my lasting scar

The near that’s just so far

You always are just that glowing star

I don’t see you, but you’re there

I don’t feel you, but I don’t care

You broke my heart, I have a spare

The lie of my denial has so much truth in it

The places you took my spirits have only deep rooted it

I got all this to hold on to, now what to I do with it

It’s not about forgetting because that’s not what letting go does

This is an itch that needs to be scratched, but momma told me not to scratch just rub

There has to be so many better things than this within love

To my personality this is like an amusement park that had a bad weekend

You know what these aren’t tears streaming down that I’m leaking

This is love that I’m dripping out that someone else after you maybe seekin

Sweetheart I just cant let go

Is it true or just a burden I don’t know

Things went wrong so fast, is that why my recovery is so slow

With you I saw the night’s radiant day

So many songs in a different way

And all together a colorful coherence that remains in me to this day

You made me so high without substance

So drunk without the chuggin

And so full without the grubbin

Is that why im holdin on to this lovin

Being so high and hoverin

I never knew my subconscious could be so stubborn

Our love you had to take

My heart held too much and was forced to break

You had all the power to do that, but from this zombie state you can’t help me wake?

I need to figure out the lesser of two wrongs

Letting go or holding on

Wait I already know, because you’re in tune to someone else’s song