The Hunt for My Song of Expression

Its been a long time since I chilled in my zone.
My zone of splendor.
That zone where I have simplicity serenity and joyful peace.
I've lost my zone.

To time or growth I'm not sure.

But my zone was a place of music and relativity for my needs and satisfactions.

It was a place I never found to often but enough to not be missed. Never forgotten.
We can relate it to a musician and the cords and notes he needs to play to express himself.
The musician is so in-touch with his expression he can't sleep at night unless he lets lose with his notes and melodies.
Let's let this genre be jazz.
It has subtle variations to its style but always has the same soulful and calm beats that you can recognize and chill out to.
Anyways, I've lost touch with my jazz.
I haven't played the same cords in such a long time.
I miss rolling around in the feeling of my jazz.
It seems either I've out grown it, or its outgrown me.
I feel unsettled, is this apart of the separation.
Is my lack of melody meant to be.
I like music.
I want to be in music.
I want to be in jazz.
No more no less.
I want to speak through my jazz, I want it to speak through me.
I crave that release and that energy.
A new perspective on myself through every song played, created and learned.
It used to be easy to find my instrument, but now it seems they are a dime a dozen.
It all just makes me wonder where the time went.
Back in the day when you were weeks-months older and things made more sense than they do now, or they were just easier to get around.
I want to roll around in the notes that used to play without question.
I want to feel the the bass line and rumble with the hook.
Never again.
Doesn't have to make sense, its all an open 2nd grade English book to me.
As abruptly as it stopped, so shall this.